Marriage in Minnesota

On May 14 a historic change was made in the laws governing marriage in Minnesota when the governor signed a bill called the “Freedom to Marry” act before thousands of cheering citizens in front of the state capitol building. The bill received solid but not overwhelming support in the legislature, passing the house of representatives 75-59 and passing the state senate 37-30. It had the enthusiastic support of the governor who made it a priority of his administration. The mayor of St. Paul organized an all night party in the city to celebrate the occasion. The mayor of Minneapolis promised to be present when the first licenses are issued at 12:01 a.m. on August 1 when the law goes into effect. Clearly a major change has taken place in Minnesota, and it is pretty clear that a majority of citizens support this change.
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But this does not mean a major change for First Lutheran Church or Eidsvold Lutheran Church. Neither the congregation nor its pastor is obligated to perform a marriage just because a couple has a valid marriage license. Religious institutions and the clergy have always had the freedom to decline to participate in any wedding ceremony for any reason whatsoever. Churches and other religious institutions have always been able to set different standards for marriages from what state law says. The Roman Catholic Church, for instance, declines to allow the re-marriage of divorced people because they consider such marriages sinful. Some churches will not allow inter-faith marriages, such as Jewish-Christian or Moslem-Christian. This has not changed. What has changed are the rules about who can get a valid marriage license in the state of Minnesota and who will be recognized as married by the state, county, and municipal government.

Marriage is a universal and yet often misunderstood institution. One helpful way to think about marriage is to reflect on three aspects of marriage. First of all, marriage is a covenant that a couple makes with each other to be in a marital relationship. Among Christians this covenant is lived out in a relationship that is exclusive, life-long, faithful, and loving. At the heart of the marriage ceremony in the Lutheran church are the promises a couple make to each other. They are accountable to each other from that moment on.

Secondly, marriage is a legal contract governed by the laws of the state. That is why a couple has to get a marriage license from the government before they can be married. The state checks to see that they are legally eligible to be married (old enough, mentally competent, not married to someone else, etc.) and then confers on them certain rights and responsibilities when they speak their vows before a legally recognized official. The marriage affects their legal status in a court room where a person cannot be compelled to testify against a spouse, in tax law where joint tax returns are allowed and inheritance rights are protected, and in medical situations where a person can make decisions when a spouse is no longer competent to do so.

Thirdly, there is a spiritual component to marriage to which the wedding ceremony attests when a member of the clergy prays a prayer of blessing on the couple on behalf of the whole church. This spiritual aspect to marriage comes from a belief that God created men and women for each other (Genesis 1:27) and hallowed their union (Matthew 19:6). In Ephesians 5:32 St. Paul calls marriage a great mystery which is an image of the union of Christ and his church. Christians who believe this feel that the Lord God is a partner in this marriage to whom they are accountable and from whom they receive support, insight, and love.

The fullness of marriage is found when all three aspects are present: a loving personal bond between the two, legal recognition by the government and community, and a blessing from God through the ministry of the church. When all three are present a married couple enjoys the support of each other, the community, and the Lord through all the ups and downs of life.

In the world today, many people have only one or two of these aspects of marriage in their life together. Some are legally married but not personally committed to each other. It is more common every year for people to live together without a legal marriage or a spiritual blessing in a state called cohabitation. Some people think that the personal and legal is enough and do not seek a blessing in the church or a life in the congregation.

Rather than fight the battles over marriage that were waged in Minnesota last fall and this spring, it would be good for Christians to encourage couples to seek the full joy of married life by living generous, loving, and faithful lives. In the light of the changes in Minnesota law let us take a positive and respectful approach to dealing with one another and the laws under which we live.

For Bishop Larry Wohlrabe's thoughts on this subject visit his blog at http://www.larrywohlrabe.blogspot.com/2013/05/same-sex-marriage-implications-for.html