Marriage in Minnesota

On May 14 a historic change was made in the laws governing marriage in Minnesota when the governor signed a bill called the “Freedom to Marry” act before thousands of cheering citizens in front of the state capitol building. The bill received solid but not overwhelming support in the legislature, passing the house of representatives 75-59 and passing the state senate 37-30. It had the enthusiastic support of the governor who made it a priority of his administration. The mayor of St. Paul organized an all night party in the city to celebrate the occasion. The mayor of Minneapolis promised to be present when the first licenses are issued at 12:01 a.m. on August 1 when the law goes into effect. Clearly a major change has taken place in Minnesota, and it is pretty clear that a majority of citizens support this change.
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But this does not mean a major change for First Lutheran Church or Eidsvold Lutheran Church. Neither the congregation nor its pastor is obligated to perform a marriage just because a couple has a valid marriage license. Religious institutions and the clergy have always had the freedom to decline to participate in any wedding ceremony for any reason whatsoever. Churches and other religious institutions have always been able to set different standards for marriages from what state law says. The Roman Catholic Church, for instance, declines to allow the re-marriage of divorced people because they consider such marriages sinful. Some churches will not allow inter-faith marriages, such as Jewish-Christian or Moslem-Christian. This has not changed. What has changed are the rules about who can get a valid marriage license in the state of Minnesota and who will be recognized as married by the state, county, and municipal government.

Marriage is a universal and yet often misunderstood institution. One helpful way to think about marriage is to reflect on three aspects of marriage. First of all, marriage is a covenant that a couple makes with each other to be in a marital relationship. Among Christians this covenant is lived out in a relationship that is exclusive, life-long, faithful, and loving. At the heart of the marriage ceremony in the Lutheran church are the promises a couple make to each other. They are accountable to each other from that moment on.

Secondly, marriage is a legal contract governed by the laws of the state. That is why a couple has to get a marriage license from the government before they can be married. The state checks to see that they are legally eligible to be married (old enough, mentally competent, not married to someone else, etc.) and then confers on them certain rights and responsibilities when they speak their vows before a legally recognized official. The marriage affects their legal status in a court room where a person cannot be compelled to testify against a spouse, in tax law where joint tax returns are allowed and inheritance rights are protected, and in medical situations where a person can make decisions when a spouse is no longer competent to do so.

Thirdly, there is a spiritual component to marriage to which the wedding ceremony attests when a member of the clergy prays a prayer of blessing on the couple on behalf of the whole church. This spiritual aspect to marriage comes from a belief that God created men and women for each other (Genesis 1:27) and hallowed their union (Matthew 19:6). In Ephesians 5:32 St. Paul calls marriage a great mystery which is an image of the union of Christ and his church. Christians who believe this feel that the Lord God is a partner in this marriage to whom they are accountable and from whom they receive support, insight, and love.

The fullness of marriage is found when all three aspects are present: a loving personal bond between the two, legal recognition by the government and community, and a blessing from God through the ministry of the church. When all three are present a married couple enjoys the support of each other, the community, and the Lord through all the ups and downs of life.

In the world today, many people have only one or two of these aspects of marriage in their life together. Some are legally married but not personally committed to each other. It is more common every year for people to live together without a legal marriage or a spiritual blessing in a state called cohabitation. Some people think that the personal and legal is enough and do not seek a blessing in the church or a life in the congregation.

Rather than fight the battles over marriage that were waged in Minnesota last fall and this spring, it would be good for Christians to encourage couples to seek the full joy of married life by living generous, loving, and faithful lives. In the light of the changes in Minnesota law let us take a positive and respectful approach to dealing with one another and the laws under which we live.

For Bishop Larry Wohlrabe's thoughts on this subject visit his blog at http://www.larrywohlrabe.blogspot.com/2013/05/same-sex-marriage-implications-for.html

Newsletter May 2013

The year 2013 is not only the 25th anniversary year for the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America but also for the church’s women’s auxiliary, the Women of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America or the “WELCA” as we commonly call it. At the WELCA synod convention and again at the triennial national convention of the WELCA there will be celebrations of a quarter century of study, support, and service.

But the history of the women’s auxiliary goes back much farther. At Eidsvold the congregation was formed in 1886 and the women’s group came along only a few years later, once families had settled on the land. In Karlstad there was a women’s group conducting Bible studies in Norwegian before there was a congregation incorporated by the men under the laws of Minnesota in 1916. In those days not only were men and women not mixed in the same group, but Swedes and Norwegians did not mix well either. That’s why there are two Lutheran congregations in the city of Karlstad. Before 1987 the women’s group was called the ALCW for the “American Lutheran Church Women” because we were part of the ALC. Before 1960 it was usually called the “Ladies’ Aid Society.” And back when Norwegian was the every day language of the people it was the “kvinde forenning.” But whatever the language or the national organization, women of the congregation have long organized themselves for three principle reasons: 1) to study the Word, 2) to support the congregation, and 3) to do acts of charity.

The current purpose statement of the WELCA sums it up this way: “As a community of women created in the image of God, called to discipleship in Jesus Christ and empowered by the Holy Spirit, we commit ourselves to grow in faith, affirm our gifts, support one another in our callings, engage in ministry and action, and promote healing and wholeness in the church, the society, and the world.” This mission statement is printed on the first page of each year’s handbook and recited at Eidsvold at the beginning of each WELCA meeting.

There is no doubt that women’s groups have fallen on hard times. At the churchwide and synodical as well as the congregational level, there is much fretting about the absence of younger women. The churchwide and synodical organizations offer scholarships to try to get younger women to attend conventions. Congregational groups often discuss how to get younger women more active, usually without progress. If an older male pastor, such as myself, asks a younger female pastor if she is going to a women’s meeting or convention the frowns are immediate. Pronounce the acronym as “welca” and images of Lawrence Welk waltzing with Norma Zimmer pop into many a head. (a-one, a-two, a….) – if the person is old enough to remember those two or watches reruns on PBS on Sunday nights in North Dakota.

And yet these organizations endure to do these three core things: study, support, and serve. Perhaps they should not be limited to women. Maybe gender based groups do hearken back to a day when women did not vote in congregational meetings or serve on the church council, and only men stood in the pulpit. The purpose statement of the WELCA would work just as well for the whole church as for the women’s group. Just strike the word “women” and replace it with “believers in Christ” and it would do just fine. But down through the ages some things have been “women’s work” like it or not.

On the fourth Sunday of Easter (April 21) the first reading was from Acts 9 about the remarkable Dorcas (or Tabitha, both of which mean “gazelle”) who had a beautiful ministry of making tunics and other clothing for people. Although the text does not say so, many of us think she gave clothing to the poor as she remembered Jesus’ words to the righteous in Matthew 25:36 “I was naked and you clothed me.” From her story many churches once had a “Dorcas Circle” composed of women who sewed for the poor. That work continues on in the current WELCA with the “mission action” committees which make quilts and assemble school kits and health kits for distribution to the poor through Lutheran World Relief. It would be a great loss if efforts to modernize the church diminished this beautiful work.

In this year of 2013, let us celebrate the history of the women’s group in each congregation that have done so much over the years to deepen the faith of its members, support the congregation, and give to the poor. The Lord only knows how much good has been done by the women of our congregations, often behind the scenes. But as Matthew 25 points out, the Lord will remember and commend them for it on judgment day.